 Typical Scene Every year, well, twice a year at least, the fine and upstanding citizens of Dorset County throw themselves into utter panic, running around like headless chickens. Farmers dig enormous trenches in front of the access gates to fields or place items of disabled heavy farm equipment across gaps in the hedgerows. Council workers are tasked with placing large boulders across any gaps into public amenities, like public parks, sports fields and ensure car park height limit gauges are in place and locked down.
It's just certain times of the year, Christmas time has been popular recently, always in Summer especially around Bank Holiday's and finally and by no means least, the run-up to the Great Dorset Steam Fair.
But what are we talking about you ask yourself? Travellers! "Ah yes" murmured in a sigh. "Them"
Travellers - Those that you find corralled overnight in your football field. They didn't break the lock or cut the chain on the access gate, oh no, it was already open guv. This year we had a few dump themselves in the car park on the Boscombe overcliff, overlooking the sea the week before the Big Air Festival, the car park was pencilled in for a disabled carpark.
Kings Park, Bournemouth, also home of the Cherries Football Club was targetted this Summer in a classic manouevre. The council had pre-warning after the recent years debacles, remembering one particular Christmas too, and had height limt bars in place, large rocks to plug any gaps and readiness if necesary to close the park gates. But while they concentrated on one access gate the travellers crept in via another.
Now, I'm led to believe that there are two types of travellers, Gypsies and um, Travellers. Gypsies are of Romany origin and it's always been their way of life for centuries. Travellers are those who choose to wander the lands, their choice. Judging by the numbers of those who have chosen to stay put in mobile home parks the majority just like to wander from place to place and terrorise the law abiding citizens of the county.
These same people who have opted to not become part of a rate-paying community use the the laws and rights that we created for ourselves against us, tying us up in legal paperwork for their own ends. Using items within the "Childrens Act" and/or the "Human Rights Act" to stall any instant eviction process from private or council-controlled areas which the latter is effectively yours too.
 A Little Heavy Handed Possibly For some strange reason I cannot fathom, why are these domestic terrorists allowed to get away with obvious abuses of bye-laws, criminal damage etc, etc? How is it that I cannot camp out for a few days in the town centre car park without getting clamped or a fine tied to the wiper blade, yet these people can set up camp for a week with impunity. So many questions I ask myself.
Why cannot the police do anything except monitor the situation and threaten to arrest anyone trying to move them on themselves even though it may be their back garden.
Answer - Costs of bringing in more officers and tooling them up in riot gear for their protrection from hidden knives and sharp jewelry of the women. Plus lots and lots of paperwork tying admin staff down for weeks.
Why does it take seven days to move them on to some other poor local authority?
Answer - They have direct access to a group of solicitors, paid for by the way by you and me via the Legal Aid system to defend their human rights. Any children have to be assessed, (legal requirement) any medical problems that may require urgent treatment, (legal requirement) and to check that anything the authority may do does not infringe their human rights.(another legal requirement). Include into this the fact that the Judge or Magistrate is away on a Golfing weekend and the fact that the travellers turn up on Friday nights and just before public holiday periods acerbates the problem.
How do they seem to have an endless supply of propane bottles when gas containers are exchanged one for one yet they can leave hundreds scattered across the countryside? Answer - I don' t know but those bottles are worth £40 each to Calor.
How can they not be hauled in for littering and polluting the countryside? After all, when the've gone all that's left looks like a flytip, (illegal in any country under EU legislation) which for you and me is thousands of green-backs in fines and possibly a short time in prison for good measure.
Answer - To much paperwork, time and taxpayers money would be wasted putting offenders through the system.
How can they appear to have new towing vehicles every year, Transits are popular, followed by one or more luxury vehicles, BMW 530D's, Mercedes 320D and I even noticed a Lexus 430 recently?
Answer - Imagine your a house holder - now imagine and this is not reality, just imagine - you didn't have to pay local council tax but someone would come along and pick up your rubbish and take it away. Imagine being able to have access to safe treated water but not having to pay for this facility. Just descend on any Petrol Filling Station paying high business rates, block off access to the car wash and fuel pumps and just fill your water containers to your hearts content.
Oh! Give threatening looks and verbal abuse to anyone who dares to ask politely if they could extricate their car from the wash area. Imagine not having to pay much in the way of declared income tax, national medical insurance. But you can have access to medical facilities anytime when needed at no cost at all, it's free. No it's not! The law abiding taxpayers of the country paid for it!
How can you kill persistent weeds and lay a new driveway in less than a day with just 10 bags of instant tarmac from Wicks or some "gone cold" leftovers from highway work?
Answer - You don't. But here is a tip from a traveller who says you can. Salvage the present drive material including the unseen dormant seeds of weeds. Mix it in with the new tarmac from the bags, whilst warming the mix with a propane powered blow torch, sprinkle some weedkiller on to the gravel base surface of the drive. Now spread the warm tarmac mix evenly over the drive surface, 25 mm will do and then vibraroll it flat. Collect cash and disappear that night. A few months later your car has created tram lines in the drive surface, sand and gravel is bleeding through leaving a yellow stain. At regular intervals dandelions have sprung up giving your drive way that cottage garden look that we all admire - according to Gardeners World we do.
So what is the answer? My honest opinion? Um! Ur! I don't Know, But!
First of all, do what the Italians are doing to the Roma's who are blamed for the explosion of criminality in certain areas, fingerprint the lot of them. Now you have a database, so you can now compare prints with those found on a damaged or cut gate locks and chains.
Confisticate the luxury motors until they have paid for the damage or costs of picking up the litter, discarded gas bottles and endless numbers of prams, pushchairs, supermarket trolleys and excrement. Just allow the use of the Transit tipper or van to tow the caravan.
 A town called Hell Remember that Clint Eastwood film, "High Plains Drifter", where a guilt ridden town, Lago pleaded with him to protect them from the local outlaws and in exchange he had complete run of the town. Maybe that's what we need here except for the raping, etc. A hired gun or two. How about Ed Harris in Appaloosa - he'll sort it. Plus a sign on the outskirts saying in red paint or blood if you wish, a town called "Hell". Please, don't get upset. I am not suggesting at all that your town is guilt ridden over murdering the local policeman.
We are supposed to be tolerant society but for our efforts our communities and social systems are being abused by people who do not wish to be part of that society. If they wish to be totally mobile then who are we to stop them, it's their choice. But in making that choice they are still obliged to comply with society's rules, not bend them or abuse them.
Now the government have laid more problems on us beleagured townsfolk. We have to set aside permanent land and areas for travellers who come to the area. Now starts the furore. Yes okay the townfolks say but not on my backdoor or at the end of my street. Some wag even suggested the landfill site at Millhams Lane in north Bournemouth and that got turned down, but I did think at the time it would save the council the problem of collecting the litter. Some years ago Poole town had a travellers site at Mannings Heath but that inevitably got abused and ended a polluted scrap yard.
In France they people are called "Nomads" and nearly every large town or city has a permanent site for these people. They are generally hard standing with stand pipes for water, toilet and sluice blocks for hygiene and are located on the edge of town limits usually industrial areas (zone industrielles) or next to social housing estates. From my time in France during the "nineties" I did not observe friction between the communites. However, the one thing the French authorities will not tolerate is Nomads pitching camp where they fell like it. No arguments. You off. Now.
So in a nutshell I think that if the travellers wish to be accepted more by us townies may I suggest to make an effort to integrate a little - pick up all your rubbish so local taxpayers don't have to pay for it to be done. Don't abuse our leisure areas. Take your empty propane bottles back to Shell or Calor or whatever, they would be very grateful, saves having to buy more. Oh! And one final thing - stop trying to talk me into tarmac-ing my drive with dandelions and dockweed. I haven't got one! Christchurch Council have objected to plans by government to make 33 sites available for travellers. Councillors have unanimously rejected the plan as ridiculous and are querying the plans, suggesting 12 is more realistic. The plans for a permanent site are proposed by the RSS (Regional Spatial Strategy) who also outlines the level of house building in the Wessex area
The opinons expressed in this blog are expressly of the author and not necessarily the administrators of this site
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